Monday, July 27, 2009

Almost A Dad

Well, Sunday came and went. I made a bold prediction that little Emily would be born on Sunday July 26, twenty-three days early. Just like most of my bold predictions, it was wrong. I still think she'll be early, and "yes" for all of you idiots out there who keep asking me if I'm ready/excited. I suspect Carrie of foul play though. I think she sat very still with her legs crossed all weekend in order to make me wrong. If you know Carrie, you know how sneaky she is.

There are (seemingly) three things in my life right now, work, baby and running. I ran 26.5 miles last week in four days and will increase that by one this week. I think I figured out the whole "runners high" thing. Idiots who run that far are on drugs! Or, idiots who run that far take drugs to relieve the pain after the run. I think I'm going to do both, before and after. Unfortunately, I'm in too deep to quit, so I have to keep running....and I gotta start getting high.

Things I've Learned:
Nobody is an expert! We went to the baby doctor last week to get a sonogram and a checkup. The sonogram lady took about a dozen measurement, then told us that baby Emily weighs 7lbs. and 9oz. That's a big baby after 36 weeks! Then, 20 minutes later, the doctor saw Carrie and said that the baby was 6 lbs. Which leads me to believe that neither of them have a clue, they just throw numbers out there. They have a machine that can see through the human body, but they have no idea how much it weighs and won't until she is born, which will be this week! (another bold prediction) I would like to amend my earlier prediction to say that she will be born the week of July 26th, not on July 26th. That is, unless Carrie does something to spoil it again.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Choices-All rants today!

I'll paraphrase a famous quote: "life is 1% what happens to you and 99% how you react to it."

I agree with this. Everything comes down to the choices that we make. People like to think that all of the bad things in their life are a result of other peoples actions. There is no self reliance. Fact is, my place in life is a direct result of the choices that I made. Not the government, or the rich, or the poor, or television, ME!

If I grab an umbrella and jump off the roof, it is not Mary Poppins fault. I'm the idiot that jumped. Unless of course Mary pushes me, but then why was I on the roof in the first place? HA, still my fault, unless I was fixing a hole in the roof. Then that is the 1% stuff from the quote.

My concern is when people make a series of bad choices, then expect MY help. We all have the capacity to make the right choice. Many people may be in a better position in life to choose the correct path, but we are all capable of it. My girl Octomom is a great example. In my humble opinion, she made some bad choices along the way, and somehow, my taxes are going to her. If you get the chance, watch 16 and pregnant on MTV. See if you can identify any bad choices in this episode:

16 year old girl (pregnant) and her boyfriend are living with her mom (pregnant), her boyfriend, and the single grandmother in a 2 bedroom house. Any chance there is some bad decision making going on there. 3rd generation illegitimate child! Way to carry on! - see my previous posts on sterilizing girls until they are bright enough to make good choices.

AHH what do I care, fantasy football is coming up, and I can demonstrate my superior decision making skills.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Let's change the order a bit

I'm just sitting here watching some of the Steve McNair coverage. Just some background, Steve was married with a couple children. He had a 20 yr. girlfriend and possibly another girl on the side.

As the story goes, our boy Steve was cheating on his wife with this crazy woman. Then, this woman hit some hard times financially (remember, she's 20!) Then, she suspects her married boyfriend of cheating on her with a 3rd woman. Well, this is clearly too much for a 20 yr. old to handle, so she decides to do what any sane person would do, go buy a gun. She waits a couple days and waits until Mr. McNair is asleep on the couch. (is there anything better than napping on the couch?) She shoots him in his head (1) then shoots him in his chest twice (2,3), then shoots him on the other side of his head (4). After four shots into her boyfriend (or at least her meal ticket) she puts the 5th and final bullet into her own head.

Moral to the story:
Here's my opinion, I think killing folks is wrong. I think killing yourself is wrong. I believe that doing both is double wrong. Here is my solution! Kill yourself first! Once you are dead, if your problems aren't solved, then kill other people. This goes for the folks putting bombs on their chests or flying planes into buildings etc. Imagine if the Virginia Tech guy took my advice? His result is exactly the same, but there would be more innocent sons and daughters in this world.

The only ones in this story I feel sorry for are the kids. They are the only innocent ones. You want to say the wife, but she married a guy who was double cheating. He was cheating on his mistress! She had to know. Is there any chance that this behavior started recently, or is there a chance that he was unfaithful as a professional athlete? She knew, but chose to ignore his behavior for whatever reason. I am convinced that you know if you are married to a habitual cheater, but the poor kids didn't know. Now they have to see Dad on the news and not as the NFL co-MVP, but as a victim.

Lessons to learn for you clowns:
1. Don't cheat on your wife
2. Don't cheat with a crazy person
3. Don't cheat on a crazy person
4. Don't let problems in your 20s ruin/end your life
5. Kill yourself BEFORE killing others
6. Don't have kids if your husband is a habitual cheater.

Monday, July 6, 2009

June

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him; The evil that men do lives after them, The good is oft interred with their bones, So let it be with Caesar.

That last sentence is funny to me. This couldn't be LESS true. Think of Michael Jackson. Everyone is remembering the good. The evil that he did seems to have been interred with his bones. (interred-look it up).

The one thing that I drew from all of this is how much people care about other people that they do not know. Why do you care about Michael? My life has changed ZERO because of his death. People are crying and wailing about his death the way they would a family member. Is there a small chance that we are putting stock in the wrong people? Just maybe? I'm not even focusing on his alleged "issues" with little boys. He is just a weird guy that hasn't been relevant in 20 years. Again, he died, and my life wasn't changed a bit. I still have my wife, my dog, my family, my house, my job. etc. Why would I let the death of a guy I listened to in 1986 affect me? Guess what, I'm not.

Grow up everyone. Miss his music, play an album, but tap the breaks on the tears.