Just Close Your Eyes!

Lately, Emily has been either sleeping great or not at all. Just once, I'd like to crawl in her little head to figure out why she does what she does sometimes. Why does she put everything in her mouth? Yesterday, we couldn't get her to open her mouth for food, but I was playing with her outside and she put a bunch of dirt in her mouth. Why?

Saturday night, she started crying around 11:00 or so. Normally, we let her cry for 5-10 minutes to see if she will put herself back to sleep. About 75% of the time, this works and she will cry for a minute, then fall back asleep. Well, Saturday was the "other" 25%. Once she gets a good cry going, it is hard to listen to. She sounds like she is in such pain. Like she was sleeping on a bed of fire ants.

I walked into her her room and she was rolling around in her bed just screaming. I picked her up and held her to my chest to comfort her. Most of the time, she'll quickly calm down as she is being held. Most of the time... This night was different. As I held her, she would kick me and push herself away from me with her legs and scream. Then, I would move her legs and pull her in again, but she would push with her arms and legs (trying to get free?) I never could get her under control and had to call in the big guns. Carrie. For whatever reason, when Emily gets completely out of control, only mom can soothe her. So I bring her to Carrie and a few minutes later, Emily is asleep.

Now I can't sleep. I am a bit upset that I'm not what she wants. I understand that babies always have a natural bond with mom, but I want some of that too. As my mind wonders, I think to myself:

"The sad part of all of this, is when she is older, she won't realize the sacrifice of time, money and sleep. She will be upset with me because I told her to change her clothes to something more appropriate. She will be upset because her curfew isn't where she wants it. I just wish that I could video all of these moments when we are up late on a Saturday night and all we want to do is calm her down and let her sleep peacefully. Let me record Carrie changing her sheets at 4:00 in the morning because she threw up in her bed. Fact is, we will never get full credit for these moments, nor should be expect credit. We aren't raising this girl for credit."

Then I got a backfire....Do I appreciate my parents enough, because they did these same things for me. Having a kid gives you perspective on a lot of things, but strangely, I got perspective on sacrifices made 36 years ago through a 7 month old baby. Thanks Mom, Thanks Dad.